Waffles and Slap Watch Forever – 8 Things We Can’t Live Without

Posted on March 24, 2012 by Angela Barnes

This Sunday is International Waffle Day.  It’s a day that lives on, one we all celebrate, because it doesn’t matter who you are – you simply cannot live without Waffles.  I’ve petitioned to have waffle makers installed in convenient locations throughout the Slap Watch offices but apparently some are concerned about the mess.

They’re so easy – can you imagine the convenience of a waffle machine with the little batter dispenser like those cheaper hotels boast?  It’d be a continental breakfast all day long. Continue reading →

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Slap Watch Memories – Stuff We Miss From the 90′s

Posted on March 8, 2012 by Angela Barnes

We used to live in simpler times.  A time when pants exposed no butts, where a simple Slap Watch was a raging style trend.  The 90′s was a time before we had faces buried in smartphones, before Facebook, and before Justin Bieber (there are reasons to want to go back…)

We had the Nintendo 64 (Goldeneye…amazing), Tamagotchis and some ultra-awesome things that are hard to let go of.

Life was simpler then.  It didn’t cost you an arm and a leg to see a 3D movie, and TV was good, wholesome and educational.

*cough*BeavisandButthead*cough*

Not that I would really petition to have a lot of things come back, because they don’t mesh with the hip new cool that we emulate now, but it’s always fun to remember.  If you love the Slap Watch for its retro-appeal then take some time and reminisce with me.

Carmen Sandiego - We all played the game at least once, and then they had the show!  Where in the world did she go?  I like to think she moved up in the gaming world and took over as some super-suited rough and tough on of the newest Call of Duty games.  Considering her stealth skills, she could probably teach Captain Price a thing or two..

Giant Cell Phones - You can’t say you don’t miss these.  You might be like “oh GAWD” but you and everyone else knows that feeling of nostalgia when you stick in an old movie and someone is walking around talking on one of these.  You can’t help but point and go “AH!”.

Furby - These amazing little creatures had their own language and were one of the freakiest little toys you could get your hands on.  I miss them, but at the same time  I kept waiting for them to come to life and destroy my home like a scene from Gremlins.  I remember opening a closet and having two of them tumble out while rifling through box.

One hit the floor and started babbling in its strange little noises… and I hadn’t changed the battery in years.

Stick on Earrings - We’ve got a history of keeping it classy here in America, and there was nothing more… American… than buying a pack of stick-on earrings.

Buy em in the 30 pack so you had a pair of stick-on earrings for each day of the month.  Do I miss them?  Well..  sometimes you have to take the good with the bad in order to miss an era.

 

Gameboys - We’ve always had something to distract us, but before gaming became super-mainstream it was mostly kids that buried their faces in Mario, Tetris and Zelda games on the portable gaming system.  They might not be as high-tech as an iPad but who cares?  You hand me a game boy and I’ll rock it out right now.

Mix Tapes - Miiiix taaaaapes.  Back when it took hours to painstakingly record all your favorites onto a single cassette tape.  Now we’re spoiled with digital music and playlists.  Mix tapes meant something because of the time it took to make one.  If we dug deep into our old belongings I’m sure many of us would turn up with one.

Pogs - Americans are versatile at finding ways to entertain ourselves, but it’s made easier when big brands push the stuff.  Pogs grew popular, really fast, thanks in part to McDonalds distributing the things.

The only people who had more Pogs than kids where teachers, who routinely filled their desks by confiscating them.  I’m pretty sure they just wanted to add to their own Pog collection.

Modem Connection Noise - You know the noise.  Why was it good?  If you remember back when AOL first launched and it cost $3/hour to surf the web, and servers were overloaded to the hilt, that connection sound was sweet bliss.  That meant “You’ve Got Mail!”, countless hours surfing chat and downloading .wav files.

Sky Dancers – OK, so the Sky Dancers didn’t really do a whole lot but for a young girl they were pretty, and who didn’t wish they could fly when they were younger!?

As I was finishing this, I thought about including Jurassic Park – my friend Jack was reading over my shoulder.  He told me I was living in the past and needed to let go.  Absolutely not Jack.  I love the 90′s.

I’ll never let go Jack… I’ll never let go.

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Do You Dig Pinterest? Slap Watch Does!

Posted on February 23, 2012 by Angela Barnes

Are you hanging on Pinterest yet?  This is a great sight that can suck hours of your time away as you get caught up in board after board and image after image of great stuff that people share.  All of us here at Slap Watch love a good run of retro goodies and thanks to the rapidly growing Pinterest community (they’re growing faster than any other social network before them) we’ve stumbled across some super fun Pinterest boards, with everything from Retro Goodness to Mustache Hilarity.

Here are a couple of our faves.  Bask in the visual mastery and sharing beauty, just keep an eye on your Slap Watch.  We’ve discovered a Pinterest Blackhole similar the one on YouTube that keeps you locked in and engaged!

#1: Retro Love from user Oni Bella

#2 ‘S Marvelous from user Cornelia Leroux

There’s no doubt that Americans have always had an eye for fashion.  Here’s a look all the way back into the black and white age with some stunning models, 50′s fashion and more. ‘S Marvelous Dahling.

#3 DIY – Alternatives to the Infinite Marketplace

If you’re ever shy on creative concepts and feel like you need to get hands-on, this board is packed with pins from paper stars to baby swaddles and painting.  Even if you’re not the crafty type, there’s plenty to oogle – and isn’t that the point of Pinterest anyway?

#4 Urban Kids

Want to give your kids or their rooms a hip urban look?  Mix a little retro Slap Watch style along with some of these great urban kid ideas for a real eclectic mix.  The big benefit to this board and #3 above is sheer volume of people interacting.  There’s great discussions to be had as well with Jane Wang’s Pinterest board

#5 The Perfect Palette

The Perfect Palette I s a really great series of boards that explore the color palette possibilities for wedding.  On orange wedding?  If you’re serving Crush then send us an invite.

#6 Hilarious

With the internet, you can always trust there to be humor involved.  Pinterest offers up the same laughs (in unending boards).  Just do a search for boards using “hilarious” and you’ll get everything from Derp faces to “Stop Looking at me SWAN”.

I mu ask you a question – do you have enough time to waste for this?

It never ceases to amaze us how technology can bring people together to share things.  With that said, here’s some food for thought on technology as we close out this post.

Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969.  They launched a man to the moon.  We’re launching birds into pigs.

Go figure.

Do you have a Pinterest board?  Share it in the comments below or let us know on our Slap Watch Facebook Page.  We’d love to know what pinterests you.

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Slap Watch for Men – What Does Your Watch Say About You?

Posted on February 15, 2012 by Angela Barnes

Slap WatchYou would probably think that most guys like you wear a timepiece or a watch of some kind, like a Slap Watch, just to be able to keep track of time.

*buzz* Incorrect!

Watches are about more than time, guys.

Men wear watches to make fashion statements as well, because a watch has a lot to say about the personality and sense of fashion of the individual.

Here’s a rundown on some of the common types of watches out there and what they might be saying about you and your personality.

That Simple Timex – Timex is one of those ageless pieces that guys love.  In my social circle, I know several men who have small collections of Timex watches for different occasions.  Timex tells people you’re a no-nonsense type of guy.  The great thing about this type of watch is that it says you’re not pretentious but you’re aware of being fashionable without attempting to make a fashion statement unlike those bourgeois guys sporting the luxury watches.

The Glitz of a Rolex – Speaking of luxury watches… there’s nothing wrong with owning a Rolex or similar spendy brand of watch.  It tells people you’re successful.  Some guys wear them because it makes them feel like “money.”  This type of watch shows off that you feel like you’re good at what you do.

Unless you’re sporting a fake that was plucked from a crane game on your trip to China.  Then you’re just posing and preening.

Wide Band Watches – The wide band watch, especially wider leather bands, screams quietly about how cool you think you are, and – oh, yeah, hey there’s a watch attached to the cow wrapped around my wrist. Look at it.  LOOK.  You know you want to look at it. Yup – I’m cool, dramatic and I’m “in”.

The Leather Band Watch – A simple leather band watch, regardless of the brand, gives the presence of sophistication.  It says that while you can afford something super glitzy, you choose to wear something incredibly simple because you don’t need to attract attention.  You appreciate the understated, you’re confident and you feel rich… but not nouveaux rich.  It’s good to be content with the middle of the road.

Ditching the Watch – A lot of guys ditch the watch in favor of other wrist accessories, or nothing at all.  Why sport a watch when your iPhone tells the time with the press of a button.  You’re already looking at it anyway.

Of course, if you replace your watch with a bracelet made of some fiber from a rare tree in the amazon you helped save by making a loan through Kiva to a random tribe that is now running a business making those bracelets then… welcome to the hipster revolution.

A Casio Calculator Watch – If you have one, and it still works, then you’re nothing short of old school cool.  Join the revolution, we’re bringing back the 80′s and 90′s and we can do it together.

The Sports Watch – The sports watch says “I coulda been a contendah’”.  It tells your colleagues and the soccer moms oogling you in the grocery line that when you’re done here, you’re going to go swim the English channel, ride your bike for 20 miles, run a 5k and then post it all to Facebook.  If you’re not sure how far a 5k is, or the farthest you’ve traveled on a bike was to school in 7th grade, then stop wearing a sports watch you lazy bon-bon eater.

The Slap Watch – The Slap Watch takes cool to another level.  It says you’re completely aware of your appearance and you know how to dress up every inch of your manly physique.  Men wear watches, but real men wear a Slap Watch.  Don’t believe us?  It’s true.  It took the latest technology and massive amounts of machismo to create the original Slap Watch.

A Pocket Watch – If you’re sporting a pocket watch regularly, then congratulations sir.  You’ve discovered time travel and we’d like to welcome you to our century.  Wearing and checking a pocket watch sends the ultimate message that you control time, you’ve had enough here and you’ll be leaving soon.  It’s also a convenient way to look down your nose at people.  You may want to hop back into your Tardis and go back to a time when the pocket watch was the accepted norm.

Take a Slap Watch with you, they’ll drive the nobles crazy.

 

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Things We Wish Would Make a “SLAP Watch” Comeback

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Angela Barnes

We’ve had a tremendous response from people who absolutely love the one and only SLAP Watch, and we constantly hear praise thanking us for bringing it back.  I have to say there are some crazy “retro-loving” people out there.  In fact, there’s no shortage of requests for us to bring back other things people love from the 90′s – and even earlier.

Here’s a list of some of our favorite requests, and a few we’ve thrown in (mainly because we want to see them, too)

Orange Crush - Before anyone comments that Crush is a current brand and there are plenty of flavors available… I know.  What I desperately want (readily available without ordering from the web) is the original long neck glass bottle of Orange Crush.  I know there are people out there who would agree with me that Orange Crush just tasted better in the glass bottles.

Pogo Comics – Don’t care if I’m dating myself, I put Pogo Comics right up there with SLAP Bracelets as a big part of my memory in my younger years.

The Big Wheel - The Big Wheel was pretty much the most fun you could have as a kid.  A friend of mine told me a story about their youngest who begged and begged for one for Christmas in 85′ – and when they got it for him, he spent the vast majority of his time doing side slides with the plastic e-brake.  We need toys like that for adults!

Stores Closed on Sundays - Technological advances have given us “everything we want”, practically right away.  Heaven forbid we have to wait for anything.  Stores used to be closed on Sundays, and it forced us all to shut down the to-do lists and spend real family time together.  I could go for that.

Milkmen - I’ve lost count of the number of friends and family members I’ve bumped into who had to go out at the last minute, in the bitter cold, or at the crack of dawn, in order to make sure the house had milk because they forgot to get it.  I’d give my right arm for milk delivery if I knew I would never have to make that midnight trip for a gallon of 2%.

Affordable Ice-Cream - Who doesn’t love the sound of an Ice Cream truck?  That brings back real childhood memories, except now the trucks are always faded, smell like diesel and they want to charge $2.00 or more for a cone.  What happened to 50 cent bomb pops?! And superman ice-cream cups for 75 cents?!  Don’t even get me started on the cheap “frozen desserts” that are being pushed.  If it’s not real ice cream, I don’t want it.

Free Air at Gas Stations - A quarter?  I know.  It’s only a quarter, but really?  REALLY?  I miss free air.

Mtv - The station is there, but not like it used to be.  I’m not talking about reality television-laden Mtv.  I’m talking about MUSIC TELEVISION.  I want to turn on Mtv and see videos….in a constant stream.  I remember 24 hours of videos and V-jays and I miss it.

The Drive-In - A drive-in is hard to find, and they’re getting really scarce.  I absolutely love the theater, and being able to break out your most comfortable lawn chairs to sit under the stars and enjoy the newest release is something everyone should be able to experience.

Coke in a Glass Bottle - *points up at Crush* I don’t care if you like Coke, or you’re a Pepsi junkie, or you love Crush.  Everything seemed to taste better in a glass bottle.  You can still buy them, but prepare for an adventure-esque treasure hunt.

Retractable Vacuum cords - Cleaning days for me were easy.  Set my to-do list, throw on my SLAP watch and game myself to beat certain times at chores.  When I was done I could give the cord a tug and *zip* it disappears.  I get a new vacuum and discover that they discontinued these.  Looks like it’s back to winding and wrapping cords.

Cheap gas - The average price of regular gasoline in 1995 was $1.15 per gallon.  Feel like crying yet?

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Weird Fashion Facts – SLAP bracelets, Beard Taxes and More

Posted on January 24, 2012 by Angela Barnes

When you look at the different pieces of clothing you wear, and other accessories, you don’t often think about what you’re wearing or why it even exists.  Sure, for the most part we’re trying to look good while hiding our cash and prizes from the world, but nearly everything you wear and utilize in your closet and dresser has a story behind it – Even the SLAP Watch!

Have you ever looked at different articles of clothing, or parts of your wardrobe and wonder where they came from?  Have you ever tried to figure out how trends get launched or why we wear things the way we do?

So where did that original snap bracelet come from that was so very popular in the late 80′s and early 90′s?  It was invented by a Wisconsin teacher, and originally made of layers of flexible stainless steel spring bands with a fabric or plastic cover.  Unfortunately the fabric (or plastic) wore away and the original design was deemed unsafe due to a number of injuries in teens – so schools banned them.

If you’re wondering what ever happened to those original snap bracelets and the company that made them – blame the kids who wouldn’t stop hitting each other. Boo.

Thankfully the SLAP bracelet we use in our watches is a lot safer – but that doesn’t stop some of you from taking swings with it.

You know you do…

Ever Wonder About Jacket Buttons?

Most jackets are designed with buttons on the outside of the sleeves, right at the end.  Some brands have made them functional by creating a way to shrink the cuff, but guess where they come from?  According to information (misinformation?) passed down through the ages, either Frederick the Great or Napoleon had them added to men’s uniforms to curb the unsightly habit of men wiping their nose on their cuffs.

…I figured that’s what ties were for.

What Makes Something Vintage, Anyway?

If an item dates between 1930 and 1960 then it’s considered vintage.  If it falls after that date, then it’s considered “Retro” with the exception of the 70′s.  If it falls within that period, it’s called “Stop It.”

The SLAP watch?  Uber-Retro, Totally a go.  Totally.

What if something dates before 1930?  It’s called “Dick Clark” (read: Antique)

Beardless Russians Save Money

If you’ve got facial hair, you should appreciate it more than you know.  If you were living in Russia when Peter the Great was in power, you would have had to pay a special tax to keep your beard.  The tax was introduced to make Russian men dress and look “more European”.

Enjoy that freedom Scruffy.

My Necklace is Stuck in My Chest Hair Again

Most modern women love jewelry, it’s a part of their everyday life – but jewelry wasn’t invented for us, ladies.  Men were first to wear it, using jewelry to show off and demonstrate their social status.  If your husband complains at all about wearing a SLAP watch, remind him that jewelry and other accessories make him a renaissance man.

The Thong Thong Thong Thong Thoooooong

You might think that people were modest back in the early 1900′s, but surprise surprise! Fashion historians date the thong back to the 1930′s.  The Mayor of New York at the time, Fiorello LaGuardia, was so distraught over exotic dancers revealing “too much” that he ordered them to be covered.

The thong was the industry’s answer, providing just enough to get the job done.  It wasn’t until the 70′s that the thong hit the beaches – I guess it took a while for the rest of us to warm up to the idea of butt floss.

The Bra

While women have been around for a long time, you’d be surprised to know that the bra as we know it today wasn’t invented until 1914.  A New York socialite named Mary Phelps was rather tired of having her camisole show when she wore a lace blouse, so she used handkerchiefs and designed the first (very simple) bra – it the popularity exploded in a big way.  Several years later a woman named Ida Rosenthal started designing bras in various cup sizes.

We can thank Seinfeld for the “Bro” (also known as a Manzier)

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Get a Grip on Frustration – Fun SLAP™ Watch Time Saving Tips

Posted on January 19, 2012 by Angela Barnes

If you’re a parent, then there’s a never ending massive pile on of things that suck up your time each day.  We crave technology that simplifies tasks so we can get an ounce of free time, and then we turn around and use that free time to stuff more into our schedule.

Shoot yourself in the foot much?

Trendy parents trying to keep up with their schedules frequently gather as they drop kids off at endless extra-curricular activities and steal just a few moments of their time to share war stories, time saving tips and how they manage to avoid pulling their hair out (or duct taping their children to the rafters of the basement for a little peace).

Here at SLAP™ Watch, we know kids.  We have them attached to our legs, and we do whatever we can to save time and steal a few moments for ourselves.  Here are some of our favorite time saving tips from the war room.

Create a soothing bedtime ritual:  Every one of us is guilty of hitting the break point, stabbing a finger at the other end of the house and huffing under muffled grumbles a rapid-fire “gotobed!”  That results in meltdowns, heads poking out of doors, and extended bed times.  Make it easy on you and the little monkeys by establishing a little consistent ritual.

Give each one something intimate and personal, like a story.  Do a puppet show, reenact a scene from your favorite movie, etc.  The 10-15 minutes you spend here, even if it results in some laughter, is much better than the hour+ struggles you normally face.

By the way – reenacting scenes from your favorite movie means -their- favorite movie.  Tell Dad to stop trying to do scenes from Rambo.  Sly is displeased.

Deal with fuzzy spider legs later:  One mom once told me that her children always had her running late in the morning; late to eat, late to school, and ultimately late to work.  To save time she would shave one leg on one day… and the other on another day.

Not exactly the ideal choice when it comes to romance, but if it means making it to your destination on time that’s a sacrifice that the family just has to live with.  Just don’t forget the other one, Sasquatch.

Outsource the yard work:  I was shocked to find that there are people out there who find yard work fun.  An old friend from college told me that she tried desperately to get her kids to help with the yard – unfortunately at the first sign of a bug, all three of the girls would scream like they were stars in the next Hostel sequel.

Her solution was to rally up a few people who love to tend to yard work and pay them to do what everyone else detested.  That also frees up your time for other more important things.

Exercise at home:  I know what you’re thinking, ‘who has time to exercise?!’ If you’re sporting a gym membership, you’re wasting upwards of 30 minutes to an hour in drive time, prep time, packing and unpacking, staring at your moobs, socializing at the gym, etc. around your workout.

Instead, lay out everything you don’t want your kids to touch.  When they grab something you don’t want them to have, chase them down.  Do this for 15 minutes and you’re good.  If you have children under 3, then you’re already doing this anyhow.

Keep track of important things:  How many times have you torn apart your home trying to locate critical items; shopping list, wallet, purse, clutch, glasses, car-blippey-thingy, children, watch, shoes.  Before you crash from exhaustion at night, put them all in one location, otherwise you have to suck up losing 10-15 minutes to hunting each morning.

Remember this post when you find your keys in the ice box and your little one has the contents of your wallet all over their bedroom floor.  Can’t say we didn’t warn you.

Get a SLAP™ Watch: When I wear a watch with a traditional belt on it, I still go through those bouts where I chase it around my wrist trying to fasten it.  It’s usually when I’m in a rush.  At least with a SLAP™ Watch you can just Slap it into place.

Or slap it across the kids’ forehead when they don’t cooperate.

It also silences small screaming children who are fascinated by the alien device that somehow manages to stiffen itself and play dead.

Finally… take a moment and remember: time is relative.  In the future, we’ll probably mass produce minutes, and we’ll buy ‘em from soda machines and look back on these days at our calendar-burning parties and laugh our heads off.  Until then, use some of these tips to save your sanity and keep track of time with your SLAP™ Watch.

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Crazy Trends of 2012

Posted on January 14, 2012 by Angela Barnes

Every generation goes through trends.  Something gets hot, stays hot and runs through a period of years where it’s the next cool thing to do.  Trends go way beyond clothing though.  I’ve looked back over the last few years to see a distinct change in what people think is cool.  It makes me weep for the better days of big hair, slashed pants and Nirvana.

I cradle my Slap Watch and wish it were a time travel device where I could escape.  Knowing my luck, Biff would just screw everything up.

Butthead.

There are some crazy trends that have grown in the last few years, check out some these.

Vlog Hauling

Don’t mistake it for log hauling, or caber tossing, where scantily kilted Scottish thugs toss trees like the world depends on it.  At least that’s a little entertaining.  Vlog Hauling is a digitization of that experience where you have to sit down with a girlfriend, and listen to every item she bought on her latest trip to the mall.

Behold, videos on YouTube where people show off brand name items, why they’re hot, run through tangents about nothing, and then repeat the cycle.  Add this to the list of things people will regret when they’re older.

Being Awkward

Cool used to mean something.  When you think of “cool” kids, you either have memories of digging water out of your ears from a right-royal swirly, or fond memories of being the one administering an atomic-wedge.

It looks like we have actors like Michael Cera to thank (and all those other indie teen movies) for turning awkward into the next big cool trend.  I haven’t figured it out yet, but it’s there.  Girls giggling about “look, there he is!” as the skinny, unkempt kids strolls awkwardly around the corner in slow motion with his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the floor.  Back hunched under the weight of a backpack pregnant with text books.

I may be forecasting here, but I see this tarnishing “cool” forever.  People are gonna look back on their youth and say “Back in high school, I used to be cool.. you know.. I guess.  Kind of.  Right?  Yeah.  Sort of.”

Beware the awkward hipster who firmly believes he was awkward before it was cool to be awkward.

Vampires

You knew it was coming.  The Twilight craze has swept over the nation like a contagion or avian-flu.  It’s doing more than driving ticket sales, DVD’s and merchandise.  I’ve seen in the news where people are actually… biting each other.  What was wrong with hickeys? For all of you absolutely in love with Twilight, I’m not knocking it in any way.  I don’t necessarily want to incur the wrath of a nation of the type of people who steal cardboard cutouts and join teams.

I’m just saying….  Really?

The Call of Duty

There was a time when serving meant actually deploying and blowing things up with your bare hands.  Now the trend is in first person shooters, especially the Call of Duty franchise.  When Modern Warfare 3 popped, it broke sales records across the U.S.  There are even support groups for girlfriends and wives who lose their husbands and boyfriends to the trend.

Waiting for the new T.V. show to come out:  CoD wives.  Should be full of drama, full of thrills and the shouting of the word “n00b”.

It’s not so bad though.  I don’t know anyone that doesn’t love a little destruction, or blowing some stuff up.  This kid had the right idea when he had the opportunity to make a wish come true.

I call shenanigans.  He’s camping.

Zanybandz™ and the SLAP Watch

It’s great to see trends grow around our products, and these are some of the newest crazes and trends.  Both the Zanybandz ™ and SLAP™ Watches are worn, traded, collected and even obsessed over.  I know some who collect the SLAP ™ Watch like they’re shoes.

The Zanybandz™ are particularly popular because they’re rubber bands shaped like animals and other fun themes.  They’ve been so popular that some schools even banned them because they were ‘too distracting’ *boo hiss*

Why can’t they ban being awkward?

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New Year’s Epiphany – Why So Serious?

Posted on January 3, 2012 by Angela Barnes

The holidays tend to bring a ridiculous amount of stress, but it never really goes away once that period passes.  Thanksgiving crazes and Black Friday turn into Christmas rushes for a month which escalates into post-Christmas and New Year’s madness.  Then there’s 3 months of staring cross-eyed at credit card bills and store card invoices.

Some families even have to slide right into vacation and kid-graduation mode.  It used to be simple; deal with Senior graduation.  Now they’re giving nearly every grade form K to 6 a little graduation ceremony.

*choke myself*

Everywhere you turn there’s something demanding that you take life seriously, be responsible and tug up your underoos.  It’s maddening.

I go through this in cycles where I realize that the fun loving person I used to be had been stuffed into one of those storage bags and the air had been vacuumed out before it was neatly filed in a closet somewhere and forgotten.  I didn’t realize I was falling into the same rut until I found myself in a heated discussion with a friend about the quality of wrapping paper (I know…) and I saw my Slap Watch on my wrist as I flailed franctically in mid-rant.

The wild color of my Slap Watch in contrast with the mood made me realize that the only thing not overly serious about me as of late was, in fact, my Slap Watch.  It was outwardly defining a personality that had once again been stuffed in a mental closet somewhere.  It reminded me of a quote from L. Ron Hubbard.

“When life becomes serious, a man becomes less cause and greater effect. If life gets really serious, his value drops to practically zero. Driving a car can become such serious business that one can wreck the car. Running a business can become so serious as to make it fail. There is a direct connection between insanity and seriousness. It is only when an individual progresses in life to a point where much seriousness is attached to things that he begins to have a hard time. The ancient Italian really knew what he was about when he considered that the only psychotherapy was laughter.”

I immediately set out to fix this, and thus attached a New Year’s resolution to it.  I’m going to lighten up, because when something like a Slap Watch tell you that you’re too serious, it’s time to fix things.

Here are 10 ways you can follow suit, drop the serious craze and lighten up.

1. Deliberately turn a molehill into a mountain – make a big deal out of a little problem.  “I would feel much better if these papers were stacked exactly like this! Not like that! Like this! Not this! This!”  There’s humor to be had in deliberately blowing something out of proportion. People might look at you like you’re nuts, but it’s therapeutic.

2. Ask yourself if getting serious about the situation at hand is going to improve it, or could you refer back to #1 to see it from a new perspective.

3. Focus on the positive.  Whatever is going on might suck at the moment, but what is right about it? Now what else?  Now what else?  ….and what else?

4. Consider a dramatic shift or a complete change.  Do you fall into the serious trap every year because of the same routine?  Try something new. Build something, take a road trip, start a side business, duct tape a family member to the wall.  Break your cycle.

5. Ask yourself “When I’m old, dying, and my family is fighting over my vast fortune… will I be glad that I was serious about _____?”

6. What would happen if you lost all aspect of the problem completely?  So you might get serious and stress about family, or accessories, or trying to travel to 6 different places in a weekend.  What would happen if you had no family, if Slap Watch wasn’t in your accessory list or if you didn’t have a car to travel?

7. Consider the size of the problem.  If you’re getting uptight about paperclips being in the wrong drawer and you want to throttle your kids or spouse, think about what would happen if the problem were bigger.  Not necessarily big paperclips but the scale of the issue overall.  Although big paperclips are awesome, and that would be a humorous way to deal with that issue.

Your family would certainly notice.

8. Stressing and over-serious about your career?  Compare yours to that of another.  Imagine if you drove a septic tank truck… or you were a tax collector.  You got it made and you know it.

9. You should stop trying to solve the problem that is making you act so serious.  It probably can’t be solved right now using your particular approach.  You’re a big serious ball of angry-energy.  Settle down Crankshaft, and try again later.

10. Of course there’s the ultimate solution – where the problem isn’t you.  It’s everyone else.  If that’s the case, tell everyone else to lighten up or you’ll destroy them with your own particular brand of holiday wrath.

If all else fails, try acting stupid for a while and be a little goofy or zany.  Be inspired by what inspired the Slap Watch and have a little more fun.

Happy New Year from Slap Watch!  Make it a good one because only a few of us are going to be rescued by John Cusack when it all goes Kaboom this December.

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Slap Watch: Inspired by Kung Fu, Water and High Speed Blimps

Posted on December 29, 2011 by Angela Barnes

We take a lot of things for granted with all the technology around us, but it’s hard not to when all the cool technology is mixed in with not-so-cool tech.  When you’re raving about the first release of Diablo for the PC while simultaneously mourning Pepsi A.M (imagine waking up to a Pepsi… but it’s not a Pepsi.  Hard to see why that flopped) you can get distracted from real, interesting facts about the technology we rely on every day.

Like your watch (would you expect a different topic?  It’s a Slap Watch blog.  We’re not writing about cheesecake here.)

Next time someone asks about your Slap Watch, don’t just show them why it’s cool.  Tell them with these fun facts that go back through the history of watches.

Go Back in Time with Slap Watch

Some historians theorize that the Egyptians and ancient Mesopotamians were the first to invent a watch design around 1500 BC, where they developed a mechanical system of telling time by using the flow of water.

Effective, providing you’re near a constant source of water.  Niagara is a good pick for a giant clock.  So is building one in the stream of Austin Powers, the flow in both cases isn’t exactly accurate.

The first real, accurate mechanical clocks were built by monks around 1520 AD, about 3000 years after the Egyptians tried telling time with super-soakers.    The monks were trying to build a way to measure time accurately in order to know the precise time for prayer.  In true monk style, the clocks used acoustical indicators (like a ring tone, but not as annoying as “Party Rock” remixes) to note the time instead of hands.

It wasn’t until “Kung Fu the Legend Continues” that David Carradine brought us “Monk hands” that could do anything:  Tell time, knock out bad guys through cement walls, and compensate for terrible acting.

Pocket Watches – Icon of the Fat Cat

The first pocket watches were invented in England during the 16th century.  These were like the first Slap Watches, with a lot less Slap and a bit more Snap with the closing face.  These watches were so large that people often wore them around the neck.  The famous panting of Henry VIII shows a massive medallion around his neck.  This medallion was actually a big pocket watch.

So Flavor Flav was about 425 years too late with the big clock thing.  Poser.

More Watch Facts

Drawing of a machine incorporating a fusee, by Leonardo da Vinci

1. Leonardo da Vinci drew the of a “fusee”, a mechanical device later used in the watch industry.  See the image?  That’s a fusee.  Doesn’t look like much until you realize the integral role it played in advancing watch mechanics.

…you know, I was always sad that I thought he died clinging to the frozen door in Titanic, but then when he washed up on the beach in Inception it all made sense.

Blows your mind.

2. In 1583, Galileo Galilei discovered that the frequency at which a pendulum swings depends on its length.  This became a factor in how pendulum clocks were designed.

3. In 1795 Breguet invented the tourbillon which compensates watch errors caused by gravity. Even today tourbillon is one of the most sophisticated mechanisms to manufacture.  The only gravitational force it cannot compensate for is that of the Baldwin family, which somehow seems to swallow talent whole.

4.  In 1844, Patek Phillippe created the first series of wrist watches.  Only women used them, as they were considered to be a feminine accessory.  Men traditionally wore pocket watches.

5.   The first wrist watch for men was invented by Cartier.  The world-famous jeweler created the watch for his friend, a Brazilian pilot named Alberto Santos-Dumont.  We’d like to think men’s watches were built for fighter pilots, but sadly Alberto designed blimps.

Have you ever tried to pilot a blimp into a 4g inverted dive with a MiG-28?

Certainly not as cool.  Thankfully we can make up for 5000 years of boring watches with the Slap Watch, and appreciate just how good we have it.

 

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